Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Lost World (1925)

Today I am printing out even more articles to incorporate into the dissertation when I decide that it is high time for a break (ie some slackin'). So I surf on over to and, on a whim, decide to check out their free movies. To what did my wandering eye appear? The Lost World (1925) is located in the Sci-Fi section! Now, I love the book--and most anything else by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle--so I started it up and WOW! What a great film! So great I debated as to whether to review it here. It is a silent film--which I do enjoy--and is the first time stop action technique is used in the USA. Still, I think it may be appropriate, so smoke 'em if you got 'em and lets get to the review!

"Way ahead of you, Sparky!"

A budding new reporter is jilted by his fiance because she will only marry a man who can risk his life and "look danger in the eye". As luck would have it, a seemingly insane professor has returned from the Amazon with tales of living monster dinosaurs. Three reporters have been assaulted and sent packing by the crazed scientist and our hero is assigned to hear the lecture.

"Whoa! Danger has grumpy eyes!"

Instead of a lecture, the professor calls for another expedition to both prove his claims and rescue a man left behind. Sensing an opportunity to appease his fiance, the young reporter convinces the professor to allow him to participate. Soon he find himself one of a company that includes two scientist explorers, a big game hunter and the daughter of the man left behind.

Meet the Motley Crew

Oh, did I mention that the daughter of the man left behind is a young "Flapper Hottie" like Betty boop?

Flapper Hottie at Repose

Soon, the band navigate the Amazon river to find themselves trapped on the same plateau where Alma's dad was lost...

"That ain't Cleveland up there!"

...and discover that the natives are a little rambunctious!

"Mmm... Lunchables..."

Now, our heroes must find the lost explorer and escape the plateau...

(Cue mellow dramatic, suspenseful music here)

...before they become a tasty snack! Oooh! Scary!

"Roar, I say! Roar!"

Yeah, I liked this movie--alot! By todays standards the special effects are dated but they are still much less cheesey than many of the films reviewed on this blog. Although they do depart from the book, I liked the story and the plot made sense from a Victorian perspective. I forgot how much I like stop motion that is done well! Still, it did have one big, glaring error that drove me crazy: There is a chimpanzee running around a plateau in the Amazon. However, you cannot beat the price! Get over to and watch it for free. You will be glad you did.

Rating: 4.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pig Hunt (2008)

So Nancy and I are walking through Wal-Fart when what to her wandering eye did appear? Pig Hunt (2008)! Oh yes! From the cover art one can see that this movie must be a bad one. For instance, it is one of the Fangoria Frightfest movies. Also, its got an evil pig on the cover reveling in the bones of its enemies! What's not to love? Unfortunately, quite a bit. Lets get to the review.

A group of city-slickin' friends decide to go to a creepy old uncle's cabin deep in the forest and do some pig huntin'. Yeah, that always works out well.

"Squeal piggy!"

Naturally, the group runs afoul of the locals--a group of hillbilles led by a crazy gun-totin' preacher--and they find that they are the one's getting hunted.

"It's an eye for an eye, city slickers!"

Soon, they are on the run from the crazy locals only to discover that they might not be alone in the woods! I know, scary!!

"Where's yer bacon now, fat boy?"

Now, they are on the run from inbred vigilantes and a 3000 lb man-eating pig. As they navigate the terrors of the hellish forest, they encounter something a little unexpected...

"Say! That there's a pig-worshipin' lesbian love cult a smokin' weed!"

...and things turn a little ugly...

"Eeek! I'm a vegan!"

...and heads are gonna roll!

WARNING! Bad Joke Sighting!

Yeah, this movie is bad. The special effects are terrible, the action is needlessly gory and the nudity is the quintessential definition of "gratuitous". A lesbian love cult? Really?? On the other hand, the acting is terrible and the plot is laughable. You all know that I love bad movies but this one is not worth watching--even for free.

Rating: 1 Bite out of 5

-Safari Bob