Saturday, September 4, 2010

Mega Piranha (2010)

Ah yes! It is time for a new bad movie review! This summer, Nancy and I invited our friend Paul over for some bad movie goodness in the back yard. Nancy hung a couple of white sheets over the fence, we hooked up a projector to the laptop and viola! bad movies just like at the drive in (only we didn't have to sneak in the beer)! This was Paul's first experience in watching bad movies under the stars so we wanted to watch a particularly memorable cheese-flick so Mega Piranha came off the shelf. Nancy loves the "evil fish" genre and this one did not disappoint. Of course, it may have been the mead. Hmm.. lets just get to it!

"Here's a story..about a lovely lady.."

After an American diplomat and Venezuelean ambassador are mysteriously murdered on a South American river, the Secretary of State Bob Grady (Barry Williams) sends a Special Forces soldier named Jason Fitch (Paul Logan) to investigate.

"Where's your CSI now?"

Although the local government is blaming the deaths on terrorism, Fitch figures out that it's really genetically-mutated piranha that has been taking over the river and eating anything in their path.

"Dum, dum! Dum, dum, dum, dum!"

Joined by the scientist who mutated these fish, Sarah Monroe (Tiffany... yes, THAT Tiffany)...

"I 'Could've Been' a scientist!"

...Fitch attempts to stop the piranha attack in some of the most ridiculous ways possible...

"Take THAT! And THAT!"

...but the piranha ain't havin' any!


And, they have seen Megashark vs. Giant Octopus!


Now, they are on the loose and growing larger as they head towards Miami for some tasty lunchable blue-plate special action! Oooh... scary!

Takin' Their Talents to South Beach

Yeah, this movie is really bad. First of all, piranha are not salt water fish! Of course they do start in the Amazon river, but how do they transition to salt water? Second, this movie goes to the well-worn plot chest and actually nukes the school--to no effect! I guess if they can withstand a nuclear blast, they should be able to adapt to saltwater. Case solved. Last, why would fish attack targets (especially buildings) on land?

Of course this movie does have its moments. My favorite part is when Paul Logan's character falls down on the bank of a river and proceeds to kick several leaping piranha to death! Also, the scenes where the fish are attacking the hotels on South Beach are hysterical. Still, I would not waste money on buying this movie but it is worth watching on NetFlicks.

Rating: 2 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob


  1. I watched this at my local baccy shop. So bad, it's good.

  2. Ah yes! I miss the Saturday afternoon SciFi bad movie marathon at JFH!