Manticore (2005)

Aw yeah! It is time, once again, for another bad movie review! Last night Nancy and I decided to escape from the world for a while so I reached into the pile of unwatched movies and pulled out Manticore (2005). I found Manticore in a bin of $3 movies at a closing Hollywood Movies. It seems that all the Hollywood movie rental places are closing in Lubbock and the rumor is that the Blockbusters are soon to go as well. Hell, even Wal-Fart is cutting back on the movies they stock; I guess Netflicks is winning. Damn shame. I guess I'm old school enough to enjoy browsing the dust jackets in the hope that I can find something that I like but I had not expected. Oh well, c'est la guerre! Let's get to the review.

In war-torn Iraq, a group of American soldiers (lead by Robert Beltran, aka Voyager's Chakotay) struggle to do the right thing in a war zone. After catching some people stealing antiquities, they decide to let them go as a mob converges on their position. True to bad movie form, this will soon bite them in the ass.

"Yeah, Voyager sucked but I got paid!"

Released from the American soldiers, two artifact thieves flee to the desert with a special magic medallion for a mysterious malefactor who makes a little mojo...

"Them's lasers!"

Meanwhile, a meddlesome reporter sneaks to the north to a remote village in search of WMDs. She and the cameraman find something a little different...

"That ain't Marmaduke on yer six!"

Inevitably, that same band of American soldiers are sent to recover the reporter and her cameraman. When they get to the village, they find some clues that something might just be amiss..

"Get the Bactine!"

..and..

Evil Chickens gettin' it done!

Soon they realize that it might take a little more than just Evil Chickens to decimate a village..

"First you say it, then you do it!"

Now they must find a way to destroy an ancient evil and the maniacal warlord who unleashed it. Exciting, ain't it?

"Stop! Hammer time!"

Overall, this movie is pretty good! The acting is not bad, the special effects are good for the budget, and the fight scenes are fun. There is some gratuitous gore but these scenes do create some scary moments that made Nancy jump! If you can find it cheap its worth adding to the DVD library.

Rating: 3.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

For some reason, YouTube doesn't have a trailer for Manticore. In fact the only one I could find is on this Chase Masterson Official Fan Club Website. Enjoy!