Pterodactyl (2005)

Ah yes! Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your computer, it is time for another bad movie review! Last night, Nancy and I sat down to watch another movie: Pterodactyl. She found this movie in the $2 bin of that same closing video store and it might actually have been worth the price paid. When I saw the title, I was all ready to watch some dinosaur-driven grade A schlock! I mean, this movie stars Coolio of Dracula 3000 fame. Aw yeah! Schlock is in the air! Now, lets get to it.

Deep in the heart of the Turkish forest lies Mt. Ararat (yeah, the same mountain where Noah is supposed to land the ark), a dormant volcano that holds a deadly, prehistoric secret that has been sleeping for millions of years.

"Hello my honey, hello my baby.."

After an earthquake rocks the region, a paleontologist (Professor Lovecraft.. Mountain of Madness nod?), who is desperate to publish, leads a team of graduate students to investigate. Yeah, I know. Why a paleontologist to investigate an earthquake? How the hell should I know? Makes no sense to me either. The do need AAA, however.



Unbeknown to the paleontologists, a military expedition lead by Captain Bergen (aka Coolio) is on the hunt for a dangerous terrorist. They soon find the hapless, stranded scientists and are forced to take them along.

I'll show you Sumpin' New!

Soon, they realize that they must rely on each other if they are going to survive a new threat:

DIVE!!!

Now they have to avoid death from above while they make their way out of the the forest below! Exciting, ain't it?



Yeah, this movie has some real issues: (1) What are paleontologists doing out investigating the affects of an earthquake? (2) They have a rocket launcher that shoots rockets that the flock leader can dodge in flight. They find him sleeping on a cliff but wait all night until he's awake before they try to shoot him? What the Frijoles? and (3) Mid-way through the movie, the special-ops team blows up the only working Jeep--just because they can! Why not ride it out of the forest?

Still, it is an OK schlock-fest. The special effects are alright (except the dino eggs hatching), the dialogue is not too bad overall, and the fight scenes are pretty good. It's worth the $.49 rental fee to watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Rating: 2 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Warbirds (SciFi 2008)

Aw yeah! It is time for more sweet monster bad movie goodness! You know that you love the bad movies; frankly I bet you stay at home on Saturday afternoon watching flicks like this on the SciFi--oops! I mean SyFy (What the hell is that anyway?)--channel and eating pizza and popcorn instead of writing your dissertation. Okay, maybe some projection there. Anyway, I was excited when Nancy found Warbirds (SciFi 2008) in the cheap movie bin and brought it to date movie night. I mean. come on! Dinosaurs in the World War II Pacific theater? Sign me up!

In the final days of World War II, Colonel Jack Toller shanghais a group of Women's Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) led by the precocious Maxine West (no relation to Mae West...OR IS THERE?!?) to ferry a top-secret weapon and his company of intrepid marines to an American base in the Pacific. But before they can reach their goal, a violent storm damages their B-29 and forces them to crash land on the beach of a remote tropical island.

Oh yeah.. I know what you are thinking. Five strappin' red-blooded American Marines and five fine young eager-to-please WASPs? Tropical island? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge, Say no more, say no more! Alas! no. This is the SciFi..er SyFy channel after all. In fact, the ladies close ranks and do their very best En Vogue impersonation:



No, you're never gonna get it!

At first, the island seems deserted (complete with a deserted Japanese military air base) but soon our band of heroes discover they are not, in fact, alone. Not only do they discover a few remaining (and tricksy) Japanese officers, but also a new and terrifying opponent: Evil Pterodons!



My mistake; you ARE gonna get it!

This is a good film! I like the Japanese twist (ie no Nazis) in a WWII-based bad movie and the special effects are not too bad. I even liked the characters and the acting was surprisingly pretty good overall. But Warbirds (SciFi 2008) does exploit one of my bad movie pet peeves: a dust jacket that has no bearing on the movie. Where's the T-Rex? WHERE"S MY T-REX!! Also, there are USA fighters on the cover but they fly "Zeroes" in the film. I hate that.

Still, it is a good flick overall and certainly worth the rental. Get it and have fun!

Rating: 2.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob