Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus (2010)

Oh yes! The other night Nancy and I decided to avoid our respective projects and popped Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus into the ole (over used) DVD player. Now, O Gentle Reader, I can not lie to you. I was looking forward to this one because I laughed so hard during Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus that I had to get a towel (the specifics of which I will leave to your refined imagination). Suffice it to say that this flick had some lows to live down to and it succeeded. Lets get to it!

We start with a US Navy Lt (Jaleel White aka Urkel) who is a shark expert looking for new ways to protect divers from the nefarious plotting of sharks. As he experiments with sonic deterrents, an old friend shows up!

"YEE-Haw! I'm evolved enough to eat metal!"

Meanwhile an intrepid hero (Gary Stretch), known for tracking down exotic animals, is hired to investigate the disappearance of some 50+ miners who are digging coal in the Congo.

"Yeah, I wear a fedora. So what?"

There he finds the mother lode--of nasty crocosaurus goodness!

"I like the night life! I like to boogie!"

Soon the US military gets involved and they send their best Admiral to get rid of that pesky shark and any other unnaturally large critters that they might run in to.

"Please state the nature of your mega fauna emergency."

Now a mega shark and a 1500 ft long crocosaurus are on the rampage while pursued around the globe by a rag-tag team of experts...

They're in Panama.. no Miami.. no Hawaii..

..and the world is on the menu!

"Did I miss the exit?"

Yeah, this movie is some serious cheese. The special effects are pretty bad--kind of like the first one--and the mega shark jumps out of the water to get a plane again. Of course, this time it is an F-16 but the streak continues. Also those monsters can flat out move! The croc starts in Africa then proceeds to Miami, Orlando, the Panama Canal, and then Hawaii all in the same day--while laying thousands of eggs! Still, it is better than the original and it is worth picking up a used copy for a couple of bucks.

Rating: 2.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus (2009)

Oh yes, folks! It is time for another installment of Bad Movie Safari! Today we are going to watch bad clips of
Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus! Now, I know what you are saying... "No! Not another bad movie review! I mean, don't you have a dissertation or something to write?" Ah yes, O' Gentle Reader, but I also know deep in the places you don't like to talk about that you want me on that wall..you need me on that wall.. Besides, if I were not writing these movie reviews I may actually have to do some work. Who needs that? Now let's get to it!

Millions of years ago, two titans are frozen in a glacier during mortal combat! The U.S. Navy, while experimenting with new sonar technology, accidentally releases the gigantic terrors from their icy prison and upon the world! Soon, carcasses of whales begin to surface and this attacks the attention of a renegade marine biologist (80's Pop-Star Deborah Gibson) who now believes that the world is fracked. Yeah, I know, but stay with me here.

Yay! I made pee-pee!

Soon, the world takes notice as all the coastlines are being terrorized by the deadly denizens of the deep, dark past!

Nom, nom, nom!

Not to be out done by his arch-nemesis, Evil Octopus decides to one-up ole Megashark and open a can of delicious whoop-ass on the US Navy!

Everyone needs a hobby!

Megashark says, "I see your nuclear submarine and raise you... A 767 AIRLINER!"




Evil Octopus looks on with envy at Megashark and says, "Oh no, you didn't! It's ON like DONKEY KONG!"

Aha! Take THAT! And THAT!

Overall, this movie is pretty good. It does drag in places and it does star mega-bore Lorenzo Lamas. Frankly, there are some really ridiculous moments (like the Megashark gettin' on that airliner). Still, it does have some surprisingly good twists. For instance, Debbie Gibson's character does fall for someone in the movie but its not Lamas' character; she actually falls for the nerdy Japanese scientist! Also, the special effects are not that bad for the budget. It is worth the rental fee just to laugh at Lamas trying to be all butch.

Rating: 2 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob