The Lost World (1925)

Today I am printing out even more articles to incorporate into the dissertation when I decide that it is high time for a break (ie some slackin'). So I surf on over to Hulu.com and, on a whim, decide to check out their free movies. To what did my wandering eye appear? The Lost World (1925) is located in the Sci-Fi section! Now, I love the book--and most anything else by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle--so I started it up and WOW! What a great film! So great I debated as to whether to review it here. It is a silent film--which I do enjoy--and is the first time stop action technique is used in the USA. Still, I think it may be appropriate, so smoke 'em if you got 'em and lets get to the review!

"Way ahead of you, Sparky!"

A budding new reporter is jilted by his fiance because she will only marry a man who can risk his life and "look danger in the eye". As luck would have it, a seemingly insane professor has returned from the Amazon with tales of living monster dinosaurs. Three reporters have been assaulted and sent packing by the crazed scientist and our hero is assigned to hear the lecture.

"Whoa! Danger has grumpy eyes!"

Instead of a lecture, the professor calls for another expedition to both prove his claims and rescue a man left behind. Sensing an opportunity to appease his fiance, the young reporter convinces the professor to allow him to participate. Soon he find himself one of a company that includes two scientist explorers, a big game hunter and the daughter of the man left behind.

Meet the Motley Crew

Oh, did I mention that the daughter of the man left behind is a young "Flapper Hottie" like Betty boop?

Flapper Hottie at Repose

Soon, the band navigate the Amazon river to find themselves trapped on the same plateau where Alma's dad was lost...

"That ain't Cleveland up there!"

...and discover that the natives are a little rambunctious!

"Mmm... Lunchables..."

Now, our heroes must find the lost explorer and escape the plateau...

(Cue mellow dramatic, suspenseful music here)

...before they become a tasty snack! Oooh! Scary!

"Roar, I say! Roar!"

Yeah, I liked this movie--alot! By todays standards the special effects are dated but they are still much less cheesey than many of the films reviewed on this blog. Although they do depart from the book, I liked the story and the plot made sense from a Victorian perspective. I forgot how much I like stop motion that is done well! Still, it did have one big, glaring error that drove me crazy: There is a chimpanzee running around a plateau in the Amazon. However, you cannot beat the price! Get over to Hulu.com and watch it for free. You will be glad you did.

Rating: 4.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Mega Shark versus Crocosaurus (2010)

Oh yes! The other night Nancy and I decided to avoid our respective projects and popped Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus into the ole (over used) DVD player. Now, O Gentle Reader, I can not lie to you. I was looking forward to this one because I laughed so hard during Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus that I had to get a towel (the specifics of which I will leave to your refined imagination). Suffice it to say that this flick had some lows to live down to and it succeeded. Lets get to it!

We start with a US Navy Lt (Jaleel White aka Urkel) who is a shark expert looking for new ways to protect divers from the nefarious plotting of sharks. As he experiments with sonic deterrents, an old friend shows up!

"YEE-Haw! I'm evolved enough to eat metal!"

Meanwhile an intrepid hero (Gary Stretch), known for tracking down exotic animals, is hired to investigate the disappearance of some 50+ miners who are digging coal in the Congo.

"Yeah, I wear a fedora. So what?"

There he finds the mother lode--of nasty crocosaurus goodness!

"I like the night life! I like to boogie!"

Soon the US military gets involved and they send their best Admiral to get rid of that pesky shark and any other unnaturally large critters that they might run in to.

"Please state the nature of your mega fauna emergency."

Now a mega shark and a 1500 ft long crocosaurus are on the rampage while pursued around the globe by a rag-tag team of experts...

They're in Panama.. no Miami.. no Hawaii..

..and the world is on the menu!

"Did I miss the exit?"

Yeah, this movie is some serious cheese. The special effects are pretty bad--kind of like the first one--and the mega shark jumps out of the water to get a plane again. Of course, this time it is an F-16 but the streak continues. Also those monsters can flat out move! The croc starts in Africa then proceeds to Miami, Orlando, the Panama Canal, and then Hawaii all in the same day--while laying thousands of eggs! Still, it is better than the original and it is worth picking up a used copy for a couple of bucks.

Rating: 2.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Pterodactyl (2005)

Ah yes! Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your computer, it is time for another bad movie review! Last night, Nancy and I sat down to watch another movie: Pterodactyl. She found this movie in the $2 bin of that same closing video store and it might actually have been worth the price paid. When I saw the title, I was all ready to watch some dinosaur-driven grade A schlock! I mean, this movie stars Coolio of Dracula 3000 fame. Aw yeah! Schlock is in the air! Now, lets get to it.

Deep in the heart of the Turkish forest lies Mt. Ararat (yeah, the same mountain where Noah is supposed to land the ark), a dormant volcano that holds a deadly, prehistoric secret that has been sleeping for millions of years.

"Hello my honey, hello my baby.."

After an earthquake rocks the region, a paleontologist (Professor Lovecraft.. Mountain of Madness nod?), who is desperate to publish, leads a team of graduate students to investigate. Yeah, I know. Why a paleontologist to investigate an earthquake? How the hell should I know? Makes no sense to me either. The do need AAA, however.



Unbeknown to the paleontologists, a military expedition lead by Captain Bergen (aka Coolio) is on the hunt for a dangerous terrorist. They soon find the hapless, stranded scientists and are forced to take them along.

I'll show you Sumpin' New!

Soon, they realize that they must rely on each other if they are going to survive a new threat:

DIVE!!!

Now they have to avoid death from above while they make their way out of the the forest below! Exciting, ain't it?



Yeah, this movie has some real issues: (1) What are paleontologists doing out investigating the affects of an earthquake? (2) They have a rocket launcher that shoots rockets that the flock leader can dodge in flight. They find him sleeping on a cliff but wait all night until he's awake before they try to shoot him? What the Frijoles? and (3) Mid-way through the movie, the special-ops team blows up the only working Jeep--just because they can! Why not ride it out of the forest?

Still, it is an OK schlock-fest. The special effects are alright (except the dino eggs hatching), the dialogue is not too bad overall, and the fight scenes are pretty good. It's worth the $.49 rental fee to watch on a rainy Saturday afternoon.

Rating: 2 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob

Warbirds (SciFi 2008)

Aw yeah! It is time for more sweet monster bad movie goodness! You know that you love the bad movies; frankly I bet you stay at home on Saturday afternoon watching flicks like this on the SciFi--oops! I mean SyFy (What the hell is that anyway?)--channel and eating pizza and popcorn instead of writing your dissertation. Okay, maybe some projection there. Anyway, I was excited when Nancy found Warbirds (SciFi 2008) in the cheap movie bin and brought it to date movie night. I mean. come on! Dinosaurs in the World War II Pacific theater? Sign me up!

In the final days of World War II, Colonel Jack Toller shanghais a group of Women's Airforce Service Pilots (WASP) led by the precocious Maxine West (no relation to Mae West...OR IS THERE?!?) to ferry a top-secret weapon and his company of intrepid marines to an American base in the Pacific. But before they can reach their goal, a violent storm damages their B-29 and forces them to crash land on the beach of a remote tropical island.

Oh yeah.. I know what you are thinking. Five strappin' red-blooded American Marines and five fine young eager-to-please WASPs? Tropical island? Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge, Say no more, say no more! Alas! no. This is the SciFi..er SyFy channel after all. In fact, the ladies close ranks and do their very best En Vogue impersonation:



No, you're never gonna get it!

At first, the island seems deserted (complete with a deserted Japanese military air base) but soon our band of heroes discover they are not, in fact, alone. Not only do they discover a few remaining (and tricksy) Japanese officers, but also a new and terrifying opponent: Evil Pterodons!



My mistake; you ARE gonna get it!

This is a good film! I like the Japanese twist (ie no Nazis) in a WWII-based bad movie and the special effects are not too bad. I even liked the characters and the acting was surprisingly pretty good overall. But Warbirds (SciFi 2008) does exploit one of my bad movie pet peeves: a dust jacket that has no bearing on the movie. Where's the T-Rex? WHERE"S MY T-REX!! Also, there are USA fighters on the cover but they fly "Zeroes" in the film. I hate that.

Still, it is a good flick overall and certainly worth the rental. Get it and have fun!

Rating: 2.5 Bites out of 5

-Safari Bob